Lock up

I feel I'm locked up by him whose demands are beyond my ability to achieve. I'm not that tough as some may see. I'm weak on my own. I like the job but one gets tired when there's no improvement or advancement. I don't get high pay for my skills and knowledge that aren't the best. I'm a learner who have problem voicing out because to you whatever I voice out us just an excuse. If u can have it your way, why can't I? Men and women can never be equal. There are some things or jobs that suit men more than women but no rules say that we women can't do! Technical field I'm in as well as sales. You really expect me to be compatibility equal in performing both tasks at the same time? I'm not robot. Both jobs require different level of strength of me. Sales is not easy when I need to know a potential client's needs. I've to talk to sell, analyze to sell, recommend to sell, convince to sell, and what else? There are times when I know that the sales won't be ours but you won't care. If its yours it will be yours no matter where you are. Technical is like killing me at times when I get shocked by current while doing jumper. Is not the first but won't be the last.

I so wanted to travel but I don't wish to travel when I can't pay for myself! I know mom will pay for me but I just don't like it! Why can't I've a husband who can sponsor me trips? I really wonder when will I be able to go Paris; my first ever wanted to visit place. Go up the Eiffel tower! I know it's a damn expensive trip but is my wish!

Sometimes I do felt that our marriage is like a bargain. U listen to what I say than u get what u want kinda thing. These are not the kind of commitment that is supposed to be. Correct me if I'm wrong. We are selfish humans when given the chance. There are times when the situation is like you go left and I go right loh.